It's 5:00 Somewhere!

I am fascinated by how early in the morning some people will start to drink, ESPECIALLY on a plane. I'm talking alcohol here. Now, I don't really drink anyway, (I did in college in my younger, single, crazier days). I maybe have a glass of wine once a year, if I do at all.

As a flight attendant, I am up early in the morning for the first flight of the day and that usually means for me 3:00 - 4:00 a.m. wake up, head to the airport to report for duty and flying at somewhere around 6:00 a.m.

There was the time on a short flight back from Monroe, 6:30 in the morning and we had just reached flying altitude. I made my "beverage service" announcement and began giving out juice, water, coffee and the occasional ginger ale for queezy tummies. Then I get the request,

dude: "Uh, yeah, so, I would like a Formosa please?" I squint my eyes, look at him and ask slowly, "Is that a champagne & orange juice mix?" He nods, "Yeah, can I get one?"

and yes, I hate to stereotype, but he looked like a California dude.

me: I shake my head and paste a smile on my face (thinking good grief are you serious?! I haven't had my first pot of coffee quota for the day and you want a FORMOSA?!) "Um, no sir, we don't carry champagne, but we do have some orange juice."

dude: "Oh, ok, well, ummmm, ok, like... like can I have a... a whiskey and Sprite then?"

me: Still smiling and thinking, (Ok dude, it's 6:30 in the morning, SUNDAY morning for that matter. Have you ever heard of intervention?) I look at my watch, still smiling and ask, "Really?"

dude: totally oblivious to my shock and awe of this request, "Uh, yeah, that would be cool."

me: "Ok, that will be $5." thinking, seriously, he will not want to pay THAT much for a drink this early in the morning.

dude: "Ok, cool." and hands me a $10 and says "keep the change for a tip."

I return his change and politely tell him I am not allowed to take tips. He says, "that sucks" drinks his whiskey and Sprite and is totally happy for the rest of the flight, which BTW takes about 45 minutes total.

This morning again, on another short flight out of Des Moines, we were sitting on the runway waiting out some bad weather before we could take off and the customer call light comes on. I get out of my seat and make my way quickly to the passenger. (I am thinking, ooops! someone is sick.)

me: "Sir, is there something I can help you with?"

guy: He has cash in his hands and asks, " Uh, yeah. Can I get a gin & tonic please?"

me: Looking at him with my fake, "you have got to be kidding" smile, I politely say, "I am sorry sir, but we could be cleared for take off at any moment. We don't do a beverage service until we are inflight and then it will be water, coffee & juice only. At this point it will be unlikely we do one at all because of the bad weather and turbulence."

guy: Looks confused, disappointed, already intoxicated because I could smell it on him, puts his money back in his pocket and says ok.

We were sitting out there for a long time, and yes, he rang for me again and asked if he could get a drink. I reminded him we were on the runway and, no, I could not get him a drink. He then asked for some pop. (I am southern and we say "coke") I told him I could not get him a soda either but would see about getting him a cup of water.

My thought for the day?

Time flies and knows no boundaries when it comes to alcohol and apparently it is never too early for a drink.

Bye for today, or should I say CHEERS!

kat